재.

Hi. yo this is gonna be kinda morbid. as things that happen past midnight.

Basically as the title states, this is ma will.

Not really sure when i'm gonna die but yeah i'm a paranoid person by nature and sometimes i feel like i wanna throw up or my internal organs are scrunching up in protest + when i'm careless and fall over my feet or when my heart decides it wants to be jumpy.

And then i clutch at my bosom and/or curl up into a ball, feeling like its the E.N.D.

Probably resulted from irregular exercise, really bad diet(food consumption), sleeping schedule, and overthinking.

And naturally, i'm scared and that paranoia + my weirdass dangerous adventure dreams and imagination and too much drama = future (premature) death.

I mean we can never know when we die, right? Ahem. Ghost the musical, mangas like Hellper and all those D-Day movies and shinigami thingawings says our time is up and we can protest and we just leave. Most likely with regrets.

So i wanna be at least a lil prepared to leave if anything unfortunate happens. Ellie Goulding said Anything Can Happen, that's true. That's cruel fate for you.

I'm really affected by Ghost the Musical and other tragic love stories // even if i never had a proper lover (much regret but also fate).

I also love beating around the bush so here goes. (I shall review and rewrite? my will (informally) every year, henceforth. Hopefully i get a better peace of mind and can sleep better.)





My name's Jaime Han. I'm 18(2015) and i'm typing this in sans.
Youngsters passing is hard i guess, because you didn't expect it. I'm writing this to comfort you Just In Case. Not to curse myself, mind you.

Hopefully i'm like unconscious and not like dead Dead cos it would be a pity to die young.
That would mean i didn't get to fulfil my dreams (incl career) and let my parents retire asap and travel the world and marry and have 4 beautiful mixed kids. Ugh loser.
If i'm actually declared dead then that's really too bad. I really hope it wasn't a motor accident i would really hate that and haunt the culprit byotch. I hope i'm in one piece too and still pretty enough to have an open coffin. 
How i want my funeral to go:
Please put Sunflowers in my hand, spray my hair red and style it in a wavy lob, put me in that white topshop lace dress, get my makeup done with red/maroon hues (Venus Palette) and put glitter on my lids+eyebags. Maybe a brownish wine lipstick. Because my favourite tony moly lip tint would be too much of an "I'm Alive" pink. Put my spects beside my head.
<Omg those dressing me must feel uncomfortable being bossed over by the dead. I Watched pushing daisies, basically i want to be pretty, even if im dead.>

I think i saved a list of songs to play at my funeral. Try to find it? i definitely don't want chanting. Please don't grieve so much that you starve.SERVE Qoo and pink dolphin/ vitamin water and like macadamia nuts cos peanuts have those shells to clear ugh. Maybe have a potluck cos you know i love family gatherings. It shouldn't look like a funeral, but a subtle party with a coffin. Black and White is ok, don't wear slippers alright? Ugly crying is ok too just don't disturb neighbours past 10pm.

I can't imagine what there is to celebrate about my life but just know that i, post-mortem, appreciate all the love i was given by my family and friends, strangers even?!

I declare that this is my last will and testament.
I declare that I am of legal age to make this will, and that I am sound of mind.

Probably won't have much money anyway due to excessive spending but whatever assets i own goes to my parents & brother.
Yall can donate it to charity (filter the junk), but keep a few (Don't hoard) of my favourite things. (shoes and my blanket)
Let my friends pick something to remember me by too.
When you donate the clothes, don't tell the organisation that it's a dead person's clothes, just say it was a fashion student's.

If my organs and body are in good shape, yall can donate that as well? My eyes would be genuinely bad though. At first i thought donating bodies is creepy and mortifying but if you could help/save someone else's life, why not?

I'm too young to know what's there to address in a Will, so imma end it here. Just saying its sad to die without ever being in love so yall alive people reading this, i advise you to love as much as you can and be a kind person. (not that i was all that)

But love today and live for today and exercise and eat well and don't hold in farts or when your opinions are strong, and stand up for people and adopt cats from shelters.

Ok bye.

P.S To my family, my passwords will be easy to guess for ya.

Jaime.H